Happy Wednesday! As my wedding festivities are coming to an end, I have had a lot of time to (STRESS) haha, and reflect on so much!!! One of the biggest things is really experience all that MOH’s do! So MOH’s, this one is for you!
- Be there for the bride: This one is so obvious but I just had to get it out of the way. Whether the bride is your childhood friend, or sister, either ways your friendship has reached a new milestone where the bride had to ultimately choose who holds this title, something she will always look back on. So being there for her during one of the most exciting, stressful at times, and just fun chapter of her life is something she will forever cherish. I can’t say it enough, but I totally appreciated being able to text my MOH at anytime of day with my random wedding talks or on the verge of going full on Bridezilla. Not sure what it was, but I was not afraid of getting judged or of being like a burden which leads me to #2…
- AGREE WITH THE BRIDE!!! HAHAHA! No but really, if the bride is venting to you, depending on the issue, it is just probably easier to hear her out. There is nothing worse than her coming to you to vent, just for you as the MOH tell her, “you are wrong, and no”. If she is venting at this point she just needs support. There are so many times I would vent to MOH and later on realized hmm maybe I shouldn’t have reacted that way and literally reflect like wow, she totally just let me have a moment. When the bride is in a much better place it’ll be much easier to resonate, trust me, and then you can tell her she was wrong haha.
- Plan the bridal shower! This is a fun one, but for this one make sure to get with the bride and make sure you are on the same page. Does she want to be fully involved in the planning, or does she want everything to be a surprise? Does she want you to involve the other bridesmaids or her mom or completely leave the decision up to you. Once you are both on the same page it’ll make it less stressful on her and on yourself.
- Communicate: This one goes back to the bridal shower example. If the bride decides that she doesn’t want the bridesmaids involved in the planning for whatever reason, make sure to tell them! At this point, this is your event so it should be your responsibility to at least send a simple text message like “hey quick update, we are planning the bridal shower for this date etc, more details to come but at this point there is no expectation that the bm’s will need to pitch in or whatever”, there is nothing worse than the bridesmaids feeling confused, or feel like they cannot text the MOH because her response will always be “UHM IDK”. For a lot of things you will be the point of contact between the bridesmaids and the bride, especially when it comes to these fun events you get to plan. Also communicate with the bride!! This one is huge, the bride has put so much trust in you for planning events celebrating her, so if you think maybe you can’t pull off this extravagant event that she is envisioning, be honest and communicate that upfront. My MOH communicated so much that it made me feel at so much ease as soon as the event’s got closer because I knew how organized she was and that if something wasn’t going to happen like I thought it would, she would let me know.
- Plan the bachelorette! Another fun event, my biggest advice is to honestly make this about the bride. While yes, you want everyone to have fun, this is HER weekend. I was watching this show called “Bachelorette Weekend” where the bride explicitly said that she did not want a stripper, but the MOH and other BM’s wanted one. This is a great example of making this about the BRIDE!! If the bride doesn’t want to do something because she will feel uncomfortable then respect those wishes. As the MOH, it’ll be your job to wrangle all of those opinions and keep reminding everyone that while yes they don’t think a bachelorette party is complete without the stripper, IT IS NOT THEIR WEEKEND/MEMORY TO LOOK BACK ON, IT’S THE BRIDES!
- Become the problem solver. lol this sounds crazy but really, if the bride is texting you about something crazy more than likely she wants your advice. So at this point even if you don’t have the answer because you won’t, don’t ignore her or say IDK. HAHA. I appreciated the simple responses like “uhmm I am not sure but lets figure it out” that was so much better than “*shoulder shrug emoji* and uhm IDK” or even worse, not a single acknowledgment.
- Give a MOH Speech. I have never done this ~yet~ haha, and I can’t speak to the speech my MOH is giving but I am aware this one of those to do items, more to come on this later.
- Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. All of the bridesmaids were chosen to be part of the wedding for a reason, they all love and care for the bride so they are all more than likely very eager to help and be as involved as they can. So if you know that maybe organizing details isn’t your strongest skill, don’t be afraid to reach out to the bridesmaid who is, or if you know you can’t craft that super cool sign the bride wants at her shower, ask the question in a group text, you never know the answers you may get.
Hope I didn’t scare all the MOH’s out there reading this post, not my intention, just keeping it real! I wish I would have read something like this to prepare my MOH. While she did a great job handling all the obstacles, I don’t think we were prepared for all the things that did stress us out, and honestly it’ll all come down to people and personalities. As long as both the Bride and MOH are on the same page and realize that this is just a phase and temporary, it’ll all be fine 🙂 Til next time!